15 Comments
User's avatar
Diego Salazar's avatar

XY chromosome here, confirming the Jane from Breaking Bad. 10/10 mate.

Louis Pastrami's avatar

Serves you right! Everyone knows that anyone under the age of 30 is a lost cause. Now if you'd consulted me prior to organising this unholy liaison I would have suggested you save yourself for the geriatric Jamaican. At least you could probably have a good laugh with her. Or at her.

The under thirties these days... what can I say about them? Humourless, boring, dour, self righteousness, mealy mouthed, men more concerned with their eyebrows than their date, women who look like inflatables and think they're intellectually superior because they model themselves on Kaitln Jenner instead of Dolly Parton. Honestly, every day I wake up and thank the good Lord that I'm past all that looking for love, looking for entertainment, dopamine highs followed by suicidal ideation. No thanks! I'd rather skewer my eyes with toothpicks and eat with pineapple slices and maraschino cherries.

Christopher Gage's avatar

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Vintage Pastrami.

Toffeepud's avatar

Seriously, it's time you moved Up North 🤣 I feel for the young lads of today. Eldest is just making forays into the world of Wimmin. He has discovered most his age are Left Wing or, shudder, Far Left. I've assured him that by the time he's ready for a serious relationship , most of these girls will have outgrown their naive world views (I did - I voted green at 18 purely to annoy my tory dad 😂). Their is one special girl, but sadly she loathes Trump and Farage, thinks abortion is a god given right and that men can become women. I know, fruitcake. However, she's a petrol head like him. Distantly related to the founder of Mercedes Benz. He's very disappointed.

Keep searching, Christopher, she's out there somewhere. Just not in Hoxton....

Christopher Gage's avatar

You voted Green! Wow. They were somewhat sane until fairly recently, no? I mean, being nice to the environment is hardly the work of complete loons. Whispering to tits, however...

Toffeepud's avatar

I'm 55, it was a loooonnnggg time ago, when they did actually give a toss about the environment 🤣

Louis Pastrami's avatar

So sorry..I guess your son's a bit younger than mine are. Elder has given up and haa a great relationship with his French bulldog. Younger seems to have struck lucky so far so good.

Toffeepud's avatar

Yeah, eldest is 17 and mid A-levels, he moved to a new school and he's the only boy doing English. Which as you can imagine is quite a bonus on some levels.....

Rose's avatar

I hope you didn’t give her your Substack address…….

David Solin's avatar

It's not "Jane from Breaking Bad", man, it's Krysten Ritter! Or Anne Hathaway. They are interchangeable. Google it if you don't believe me.

Anyway, you should consider yourself lucky for being spared future encounters with that particular milieu. It sounds intolerable.

Christopher Gage's avatar

Thank you for putting a name to Anne Hathaway's face. Let us not forget Cazzie David.

David Solin's avatar

Christopher, you have a type!

Christopher Gage's avatar

Yes. The more volatile the better.

WonderWalker's avatar

Elegantly done Mr Gage. These are tragic and trying times. Your efforts to save a damsel from the wastes of progressive life was laudable. So many damsels, but I fear they have become too infatuated with the spiral of delicious self hatred.

Your resolute stance will bear excellent fruit in the long run, but I feel there will be many adventures before arrival.

Christopher Gage's avatar

'Delicious self hatred.' That's quite the observation! Thank you.