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Michael Darr's avatar

Absolutely correct. Part of the issue is the innate laziness of our intellectual and educational classes. End government subsidies and bring back patronage. I am serious. The most successful of my children rolled up their sleeves and went after their passion. The ones that are struggling are the ones who are trying to "figure it out." Human beings are experiental learners. Period. The more you try things, the more you find out what you are good at. I retired after a successful career in IT because I kept trying things and went after that which interested me the most. Failure is good for us, and if we stop sniffling and get about life, we learn and get better... and we are secure in our own skin.

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Failure is good. Bravo! Down with this perfectionistic culture. It's driving us all mad.

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Mark G.'s avatar

As a counsellor who works in the extreme end of the addiction spectrum, once you hear those stories, and comb through those events, it's baffling to see the narcissism, attention-seeking, entitlement, and self-proclaimed righteousness ringing through our society en masse. Maybe if people listened to those stories and the things these individuals endured through childhood, they would shut the fuck up and give their parents some love for doing what they could.

'Affirming' the feeling of the moment, damn near by law at this point, is crumbling our society day by day. We are living in Generation Soft. God help us all.

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Whilst writing this, I had you and your work in mind, mate.

Yeah. I see so much 'social media depression' worn like a badge. Not to disparage people's experiences, but try melancholia (now incorrectly enveloped within Major Depressive Disorder). It's not a brand or a vibe.

I get it, though. We need problems like we need religion.

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Mark G.'s avatar

Once you witness the depth of brutality and terror possible in life, and how even those in the depths can escape into a well lived life, it's hard to take most of this noise seriously. Which, I guess, helps me sift through and identify the inauthenticity of a lot of it.

Side note, just ordered four of Dalrymple's books:

"Our Culture, What's Left Of It";

"Spoilt Rotten: The Toxic Cult of Sentimentality";

"Life at the Bottom";

and "Not With a Bang But a Whimper".

Should pair well with your writings, good sir!

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Good books, mate. He's not exaggerating. I grew up around all that.

Let me know what you think.

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Mark G.'s avatar

Absolutely!

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Dalrymple is great, though unsympathetic. The people he chronicles are that way for a reason. It's the age-old problem. The right thinks they're entirely culpable, and the left thinks they're entirely unculpable.

I mean... we devastated their communities, sent their good jobs abroad, and left them to rot on benefits and Special Brew. What did we expect would happen? Nevertheless, Dalrymple's work is first-rate.

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Toffeepud's avatar

Excellent essay and says what needs to be said. You've nailed why I stopped reading "women's" magazines (except when I'm at the hairdresser and then it's to poke fun at the ludicrous fashion). I'm currently experiencing a self esteem crisis - I'm learning karate. My kids are black belts. I've always been good at whatever I put my mind to, but this is tough, really tough and I'm failing regularly 😂😂😂 ill keep at it though. Maybe it should be on the school sport curriculum as it would introduce some much needed discipline too....

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Keep getting your behind kicked. Apparently, it builds self-esteem. I enjoyed many a bloody lip in Thai Boxing. (Not to deceive, I only learned the basics... the real fighters were carved from stone.)

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Toffeepud's avatar

Respect! Trying to learn my first kata, it's a good mental test. Also, I can't think about anything else especially in kumite class I'm too busy trying to avoid injury 🤣🤣🤣

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Clever Pseudonym's avatar

Greetings from the great state of California, the first state in the world (far as I know) to have established a Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem. We hit it first!

My thesis (doesn't everyone have one?) is just as the 19th-century German Ideology crafted the culture, scholarship and ideological battles of the 20th century (Marx v Freud v Nietzsche, The Battle of Stalingrad fought by Right Hegelians vs Left Hegelians etc), the 20th-century California Ideology is doing the same for the 21st century. And what is the California Ideology, more or less? Economic Libertarianism and self-help self-esteem New Age psychobabble (I'm OK You're OK we're all OK!)

But New Age self-esteem babble is really just a pretext or a game board to give people what they really want: a chance to talk about themselves, to ease their pain by sharing their pain (even better to a captive audience). With all the other gods dead or in jail all roads lead to the last great shared ritual of this thing called "Western civ": discussing, parading, monetizing etc The Self and its pain and victimization.

Think of it like prayer in Church, except you get to be priest, pilgrim, parishioner and God, and you may even get a cut of the collection plate. One-stop shopping!

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Christopher Gage's avatar

You're not wrong, CP.

I'll be in California soon, for a little while, as it happens. I hope it's as decadent as advertised.

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Clever Pseudonym's avatar

Hey of course i don't know you, your plans, or where you're headed (and if your plans include sex and drugs of course ignore me), but if you do have the time and haven't been out here much before, I would recommend you gorge on as much Nature as possible: been to Big Sur? Redwood Forest? Yosemite? Joshua Tree? Bodega Bay? Napa? Driven the PCH?

When it comes to Nature, we got the good shit!

Cheers

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Never been to California... I understand that trains, wonderful, clean and punctual trains, are an American abomination?

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Clever Pseudonym's avatar

I've never had a problem with trains on the East Coast, but do not take any kind of public transport (train or bus) in LA—it is like being sealed inside a mental institution with no guards and no one around to help you.

SF is smaller and more manageable than LA, you can get around there on the BART or Muni, just keep your eyes open and valuables hidden.

If poss, rent a car and go see some Nature, it's why we live here.

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Nice one, mate.

Europe is enjoying a sleeper-train renaissance. Americans don't understand just how marvellous that is.

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Clever Pseudonym's avatar

Hey I've never lived in a civilized country, I'm American!

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JBHoren's avatar

Positive affirmations also work for dogs.

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Carl Nelson's avatar

This is a fine delivery of the bad news. Plus, I share your belief in the 'good enough' standard, whose corollary is 'better than you'd get on the street' standard, which is just above, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass." :)

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Christopher Gage's avatar

Indeed. 99% of parents do the best they can with what they have. Not going on foreign holidays twice per year is not trauma-inducing!

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Kirk McDonald II's avatar

Mr. Gage, I have never been a fan of the self-esteem movement. When I was growing up my elders talked about self-respect. Self-respect was earned. Self-esteem is demanded.

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Christopher Gage's avatar

The self-esteem movement has a lot to answer for. Witness any modern 'protest' or melanin/gender celebration for the results.

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Kirk McDonald II's avatar

Exactly right, they are demanding respect. They have earned nothing.

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