21 Comments

I was an experienced skydiver in the '90's and at a dropzone in Louisiana we had a novice skydiver named Laura who was a self-described vegetarian. When we'd be eating a hamburger between jumps she'd walk up and scold us for eating meat with comments like "Do you know what's in that meat?" Our response was "Shut up, Laura" and eventually she stopped bothering us.

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Ha! I've found vegetarians to be quiet. Perhaps the scolds upgraded to veganism.

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Pleasepleaseplease, do tell me you are planning to publish a book with your articles - I would love to buy it to my friends and family!

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One day, Gabi...

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Great essay. Today's fashionable color is tomorrows deplorable hue. Apply to most any subject and the outcome is the same. Here today, gone tomorrow, trendy mission statement changed to reflect changing tastes and priorities. Low sodium today, sea salt enhanced tomorrow...for better more authentic experiences in fine dining. Repeat and add spices. Save the planet, but make sure the air conditioning works or there will be a walkout for unhealthy work environments. On and on it goes.

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Yes. It reminds me of the line in 1984 concerning 'chocolate rations are up.' Just this week, I've learned that full-fat milk is good again, along with meat. Next week: Diesel cars will save the planet.

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One of the questions I ask vegetarians is " Do you know why we have canine teeth?" just to befuddle them.

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Ha. I get vegetarianism. And they're not preachy. But veganism is self-harm. The militant variety just want to swing fists. (Thankfully, they're too weak to do any damage...)

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"Vegan" immediately and inevitably brings to mind the not infrequent meaning in 50s pulp science fiction that of identifying a being, human or otherwise, as being a denizen of a planet of Vega.

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Mr. Gage, I must report this story to you.

I work in a small town in Minnesota.

We do custom fabrication for food companies. Think conveyors.

Well, we build a spiral conveyor for Beyond Meat. This was a vegan meat. Well I was the guy who build the electrical controls.

I worked with the engineer who did the program.

Well, got the spiral running. Then comes the test with product.

Packaged product was sent to us. We missed two packages at the days end. We came in the next morning and we were greeted the foul-smelling rot of Beyond Beef.

You cannot image that smell.

I have worked in a human waste plant, and it smells better.

Death smelled better, don't ask.

I can only imagine the chemicals in this digested vegetation.

So, when they preach at me, I tell them this story, and dare them to prove me wrong.

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I've heard this before -- if a concoction can thus decompose overnight, consider how close to the edge it was from the git-go.

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I was vegan for a while after discovering the intolerable cruelty of the meat industry but it's difficult to sustain and have drifted back into meat eating. I never went in for these fancy meat replacements. I just ate vegetables and fruit but even the poor quality of these products is of concern. It's a no win situation.

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Abusing the animals is bad for business. Well-run abattoirs won't tolerate it.

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I'm not into horror shows, sorry. If it's what I'm guessing, I'm guessing that you missed the adjective "well-run."

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There’s nothing unusual about these meat processing plants. This is standard industry practice - all perfectly legal and very common. So too are the ways the animals live. Everything is “well-run.”

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Great piece

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I rented a basement shop to some vegans for their shop. What a lapse of judgement on my part. They would put up hand lettered notes they imagined were clever on their part. "Free Shrugs" I took to mean "if your life is falling apart, then you cannot afford the $8.00 4 once serving of vegan mac & cheese so there's the door........" Now I tell people "I prefer my vegans stir fried."

Darrell in Toronto

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Thank you Christopher,

Around the same time (2016), a rally was held nearby to the shop location to “Stop The Animal Holocaust” the banner screamed. I really found that offensive. I am savouring the collapse of the lab grown “meat” business. Darrell

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There's an old joke. Boy: Dad, how will I know if someone is a vegan?

Dad: oh you'll know son, you'll know.....The only vegan products I will consume, are cakes - no calories in vegan cakes (its true, honestly would I lie to you?), everything else is a parody of food. And don't get me started on fake meat....especially Quorn. I'm allergic to fungi so that's off the menu in our house for a start 😂

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Speaking of old jokes I heard one long ago which went "What do Indians call a vegetarian? A bad hunter."

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