I love how they always say that things "could" happen. Pretty much anything "could" happen. Monkeys could fly out of my behind but they probably won't. Nor will the occasional croissant kill you.
On the back of this excellent article I cast an eye over photographs of our ghastly new Cabinet. Just have a look at them. Sallow skin, double chins, sunken and bagged eyes. All of them. They all look completely unhealthy. I exist on a diet of red meat, cheese and booze and I look a damn sight more healthy than that lot. What we have done to deserve their treatment of us I don’t know.
That sounds like a healthful diet! Yes. I call it 'carb face.' That sickly bloating one gets from eating nonsense foods. (Of course, people should be free to eat said foods.)
You're right. Feels like they've spent 14 years dreaming up spiteful, vengeful ways to get back at us. Our two-party system is effectively the politics of divorce. As I must bore people by saying: We NEED PR.
It’s a splendid, happiness inducing diet. I recommend it entirely. And fully agreed, the unhealthy Cabinet must be allowed to eat whatever they want - a two street however. A point lost on them of course. Carb face! Another great expression! I’ll use it if you don’t mind.
I also agree fully about PR. Not so long ago I’d never have imagined I’d ever think that. But you’re right, we do need it.
I didn’t favour PR until a few years ago. It’s clear we stagnate because we have no real choice. Look at Labour! Landslide victory, and wholly unpopular within two months. I’d like a real Liberal Party. But the Lib Dems don’t seem to agree!
Regarding food… I put on weight easily. Have dropped one and half stones in a few months by simply eating real food. Haven’t gone without. Haven’t immiserated myself. And I drink plenty of wine. The Mediterreans have a point!
I’m exactly the same. I just want to be left alone. They are there to run the country (properly, not into the ground). I’m now deeply confused about what ‘left’ and ‘right’ are and about what ‘liberal’ means. I’m a freeborn Englishman and I am able to say and think anything I want. Well, that’s to say I was allowed to do that, it appears no longer. I recently read G. K. Chesterton’s ‘The Flying Inn’ (I thoroughly recommend it to all). That’ll be me. Come 2060 and Sharia Law I’ll be travelling around England selling illicit booze. Assuming I’m still alive. I’ll have probably been stabbed by an asylum seeker on the meantime.
As for food, I salute you! And you’re right, they do. Despite my advancing years and (to modern sensibilities) appalling diet and daily overuse of alcohol, I recently won a rowing competition at the local gym (vulgar to be a member, I know), beating a load of preening 20-something year olds who look like extras on some stupid reality television programme. They might eat and drink the right things but they’re morally, and mentally, weak. Red meat, cheese, booze.
I've been thinking about some very old and very lively ladies I used to know, all over 70 and all going full speed. All were smokers. Maybe they didn't live quite as long but they LIVED a lot longer than the rest of us.
Each to his own - but you seem to be saying that a life without alcohol, smokes, saturated fats cannot be a fun and enjoyable life. Maybe for you but there are many other pleasures that don’t shorten your days.
I didn't say that. If I say, 'I like pizza'. It doesn't mean, 'I hate salad.' You're free to enjoy what you enjoy. But... that works both ways. A message lost on most.
My old history teacher’s favourite phrase was “quality not quantity” he was referring to the state of the essays I was handing in but I think it can apply to life in general.
Kamenitza should be exported, it deserves a life outside of shopubs.
Very funny. I really needed something to laugh about after this horrible week in the news. Thank you Christopher! Your post may have motivated me to go to the patisserie tomorrow for some buttery croissants!
My 15 year old begins each day with a brioche roll, a pain au chocolate and a Nutella bar 🤣 he has done since he was so high. He's an athlete. You should see his abs, shredded. These funsuckers have no idea. And if anyone dares to prevent me eating my Saturday night pizza, well, they'll find out very quickly why I've won medals in karate 🤣😂
On a serious note, I strongly suspect that UPFs are being prepped to be the fall guys for all the convid jab deaths....
When I was a kid, when we worked on our bikes, skateboards, and later cars or motorcycles at each others' houses (in the garage or driveway, not in the house!😁) we routinely placed a metal pan or hubcap on the ground, poured some gas (petrol to you Brits) in it, and used it to clean the dirt and grease off of the various parts we removed from our vehicles. Without rubber gloves or respirators, mind you. We also routinely flicked our lit cigarette butts into said pan to extinguish them. Much to our dismay not once did this result in an explosion.
I can't imagine what people today would have to say about that...😂
"... raising awareness..." brilliant!!!
OMG This article nails life in the UK beautifully
Loved it
I love how they always say that things "could" happen. Pretty much anything "could" happen. Monkeys could fly out of my behind but they probably won't. Nor will the occasional croissant kill you.
On the back of this excellent article I cast an eye over photographs of our ghastly new Cabinet. Just have a look at them. Sallow skin, double chins, sunken and bagged eyes. All of them. They all look completely unhealthy. I exist on a diet of red meat, cheese and booze and I look a damn sight more healthy than that lot. What we have done to deserve their treatment of us I don’t know.
Also, ‘Lego language’ is perfect!
That sounds like a healthful diet! Yes. I call it 'carb face.' That sickly bloating one gets from eating nonsense foods. (Of course, people should be free to eat said foods.)
You're right. Feels like they've spent 14 years dreaming up spiteful, vengeful ways to get back at us. Our two-party system is effectively the politics of divorce. As I must bore people by saying: We NEED PR.
It’s a splendid, happiness inducing diet. I recommend it entirely. And fully agreed, the unhealthy Cabinet must be allowed to eat whatever they want - a two street however. A point lost on them of course. Carb face! Another great expression! I’ll use it if you don’t mind.
I also agree fully about PR. Not so long ago I’d never have imagined I’d ever think that. But you’re right, we do need it.
I didn’t favour PR until a few years ago. It’s clear we stagnate because we have no real choice. Look at Labour! Landslide victory, and wholly unpopular within two months. I’d like a real Liberal Party. But the Lib Dems don’t seem to agree!
Regarding food… I put on weight easily. Have dropped one and half stones in a few months by simply eating real food. Haven’t gone without. Haven’t immiserated myself. And I drink plenty of wine. The Mediterreans have a point!
I’m exactly the same. I just want to be left alone. They are there to run the country (properly, not into the ground). I’m now deeply confused about what ‘left’ and ‘right’ are and about what ‘liberal’ means. I’m a freeborn Englishman and I am able to say and think anything I want. Well, that’s to say I was allowed to do that, it appears no longer. I recently read G. K. Chesterton’s ‘The Flying Inn’ (I thoroughly recommend it to all). That’ll be me. Come 2060 and Sharia Law I’ll be travelling around England selling illicit booze. Assuming I’m still alive. I’ll have probably been stabbed by an asylum seeker on the meantime.
As for food, I salute you! And you’re right, they do. Despite my advancing years and (to modern sensibilities) appalling diet and daily overuse of alcohol, I recently won a rowing competition at the local gym (vulgar to be a member, I know), beating a load of preening 20-something year olds who look like extras on some stupid reality television programme. They might eat and drink the right things but they’re morally, and mentally, weak. Red meat, cheese, booze.
W\onderful!
I've been thinking about some very old and very lively ladies I used to know, all over 70 and all going full speed. All were smokers. Maybe they didn't live quite as long but they LIVED a lot longer than the rest of us.
Yeah. I miss smoking -- my pipe, especially -- more as a conversational tool than as whatever smoking is supposed to do chemically.
Each to his own - but you seem to be saying that a life without alcohol, smokes, saturated fats cannot be a fun and enjoyable life. Maybe for you but there are many other pleasures that don’t shorten your days.
I didn't say that. If I say, 'I like pizza'. It doesn't mean, 'I hate salad.' You're free to enjoy what you enjoy. But... that works both ways. A message lost on most.
'are NHS' had me giggling!
My old history teacher’s favourite phrase was “quality not quantity” he was referring to the state of the essays I was handing in but I think it can apply to life in general.
Kamenitza should be exported, it deserves a life outside of shopubs.
Very funny. I really needed something to laugh about after this horrible week in the news. Thank you Christopher! Your post may have motivated me to go to the patisserie tomorrow for some buttery croissants!
Thank you, my friend. Don't forget the pastrami on rye. I miss 2nd Avenue deli. I hope London has a passable equivalent.
Sorry, but Katz's is on E Houston at Ludlow.
I tried a few times... always jammed to the rafters.
True. Two creepy-weird but undeniably convenient aspects of the Kovid Kapers: no traffic on the GWB ever and no queue at Katz's.
The mere mention shivers my blood. A search of delis here suggests the pandemic wiped a few out. Don't start me off! Insanity.
Pastrami on rye with spicy mustard. My favorite sandwich of all time!
Indeed. Some things never change. “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.” ― H.L. Mencken
“ached a headline.” God I loved this. Thanks for this terrific post, it really cheered me up after reading a raft of dismal Substack articles today.
“We’d endure a National Day of Mourning followed by a week of silent penance before a month of raising awareness.”
Absolutely spot on.
The most enjoyment I’ve had in a read since quite some time. As always, beautifully said, hilariously accurate, and perfectly executed.
My 15 year old begins each day with a brioche roll, a pain au chocolate and a Nutella bar 🤣 he has done since he was so high. He's an athlete. You should see his abs, shredded. These funsuckers have no idea. And if anyone dares to prevent me eating my Saturday night pizza, well, they'll find out very quickly why I've won medals in karate 🤣😂
On a serious note, I strongly suspect that UPFs are being prepped to be the fall guys for all the convid jab deaths....
I'm getting REALLY old. I remember when the phrase, "food police," was a joke.
“On the airwaves, talking heads versed in Lego language would press together prefabbed words and phrases into sentence shapes.”
Maybe my favorite satirical phrase of the century! Thank you, oh humorist!
When I was a kid, when we worked on our bikes, skateboards, and later cars or motorcycles at each others' houses (in the garage or driveway, not in the house!😁) we routinely placed a metal pan or hubcap on the ground, poured some gas (petrol to you Brits) in it, and used it to clean the dirt and grease off of the various parts we removed from our vehicles. Without rubber gloves or respirators, mind you. We also routinely flicked our lit cigarette butts into said pan to extinguish them. Much to our dismay not once did this result in an explosion.
I can't imagine what people today would have to say about that...😂